HYPERBOLE AND ME — OR HOW I LEARNED TO TURN IT DOWN A NOTCH
October 14
Devastated, crushed, gutted, slammed, screamed at, broken and shaking with fear, traumatized.
These are some of the adjectives I saw when flicking through the news before getting up yesterday morning. Was this about Putin’s war? A devastating flood that left thousands homeless? A drought that is leaving children starving and ill? No, these adjectives were describing people who were criticized for a dress they were wearing, or a hairstyle they showed up to a gala with; not to mention the sensitive staff in the British royal household who were the broken ones shaking with fear after a run-in with that arch screamer, Meghan Markle.
When we read that people are gutted by a passing remark, or devastated because their sister-in-law said something mean about their Christmas turkey, we have to wonder if some readers, especially young ones, don’t take their emotional reaction cues from these celebrities or influencers who are, it seems, emotional wrecks. Are we being led by the news and the Internet to hyperventilate, shriek, and erupt in furious rages over daily mishaps?
Is there any editing going on in these newsrooms? Is it necessary to write that a politician was slammed for a remark, when the word “criticized” would do just as well and be more accurate? Do we need all this hyperbole?
No, I’m not gutted if my cake falls flat; I’m disappointed. I’m not devastated if my tomatoes don’t grow well; I’m motivated to investigate the reason. I’m not traumatized if one of my relatives criticizes me unjustly; I’m annoyed, puzzled, or hurt. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been traumatized, come to think of it. In my mind, traumatic occurrences are things like losing everything in a forest fire or hurricane, being involved in a life-changing accident, and similar unspeakable tragedies.
For those everyday situations that annoy or frightened us, can we not swing the pendulum the other way and start understating our feelings? A British upbringing comes in handy here. So, if the stock market crashes, it’s somewhat alarming. If the transit workers all go on strike, it’s inconvenient. If we have a pandemic and have to get vaccinated and wear masks, it’s worrying, annoying, alarming, and inconvenient, but it’s not the greatest assault on human rights that ever hit the planet — Danielle Smith, this means you.
So I for one will get a grip. From this day forward the strongest complaint out of my mouth for anything bad will be ‘disappointing.’ If a bear crosses my path on a trail, I will be “surprised” or even “very surprised” if it’s really close. And through it all, let’s not forget those famous words “Never lose your sense of humour!”
